xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
