When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
