so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
