I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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