Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
