Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
