Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
