you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
