Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
