So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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