her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize