The maid of honor just puked.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
