he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
