So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
