her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
