bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
