I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize