is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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