What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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