I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
