omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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