I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize