could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
