I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Let's get the cat blown out
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
