thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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