shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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