Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
