just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
