We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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