its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
