I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
