at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
