i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
