so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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