I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
