Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
