i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I currently don't understand fingers.
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