I want to make a zoo with you.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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