Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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