Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
