why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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