im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
