Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize