And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
