Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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