She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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