and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Can I color on your dick again?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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