It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
