Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
