Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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