I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
