he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize