What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
