As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize