I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
ttyl tear gas
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
