I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize