just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize