Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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