Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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