Barsexuality is the new black.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
