Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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