Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
