sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
