Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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