There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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