he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
