It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Even my vagina gasped.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
