Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
