I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
